FEATURE  (September 22 – September 28, 2008)

 

MMSU College of Arts and Sciences

 

 (This piece won first place in the essay-writing tilt sponsored by the Sociology Guild of Mariano Marcos State University last September 18, 2008.—Ed)

 

I am but a mere ‘“ubing”; young, trivial, blithe, innocent, frail.

My idea about the world, how it works, how it does not, is likely to be as minor as my age; or that’s what older, “wiser” folks so conveniently say.

But my age is nothing but just a number, a mathematical figure that simply grows higher with every year I manage to survive, or every birthday I get to celebrate or not. It is not a gauge of how much I’ve been taught or how much I’ve learned. It cannot measure how little I’ve witnessed or how little I’ve experienced. It can never tell how much I know, how much I care, and how much I see. It can never determine how little I can do to change what I see.

I hail from a little-known province, a place that may even be unheard of to the rest of the world. I am not clothed in silk, I am not bathed in milk, I am not educated in a posh university, and I am not living “the life” as other kids my age are fortunate enough to afford. As is expected, I should know very little about chaos, adversity, violence and crisis; what with me living in an area far from the frenzied struggle of urban life. I’m expected to be unmindful, to be unaffected, to be detached, to be ignorant. How odd it is that I am everything but that.

Every day I wake up and I greet the world with distaste, far from the supposed optimism a young one such as I should see the world with. Not with what I see, not with the world as terrible as I witness it with every single day’s dose of the bitter truth.

I go to school and I pass a few beggars on my way, mothers with their half-clothed children walking barefoot on the streets, hinging on some strangers’ sympathy and a few coins here and there. I watch as a number of students pass me by at the lobby, some carrying hand-me-down bags, some clad in old shoes and slippers, some others I never got to see in school again. I wonder as I stare at the lady sitting next to me at the bus, her look was so distant, I felt her emptiness drape my existence. Could those scars and bruises have anything to do with that? I open the television and my youthfulness is obliterated; poverty, war, tragedy, death.

I may just be an “ubing” but I believe I’ve seen everything there is to see, the truth people older than I force me to turn a blind eye to, the reality they expect kids such as me to ignore. But they are wrong, I’ve seen it all, and my age does not prevent me from seeing what is beyond it.

In the midst of chaos, bombs, screams, cries; of struggle, hunger, pain, strife; of hate, anger, rage, scorn; of oppression, slavery, helplessness, abuse; in the midst of unending crises, hope springs. It is heard when the air is cleared of the sound of exploding bombs. It is felt when the body ceases to hurt and all its wounds are healed. It is realized when the heart stops bleeding. It is fought for when the desire for freedom reigns in the hearts of those who live in bondage.

Hope springs.

Beyond the awfulness of life and all its ugly facades, a ray of hope is always shining, waiting for people who wish to seek its light. The world does not have to end with the last bomb that is to be fired; it need not end with a lifetime of wanting. For as long as breath, peace, contentment, and whatever the heart yearns for can be imagined, hope can be found.

I am but an “ubing” but I believe that it is never too late for hope to be found. What the world needs now is a realization, a wake-up call, a good slap on the face. We can never scare our problems off by bombarding them with state-of-the-art weaponry; we can never achieve peace by means of war; we cannot escape poverty by stealing and killing; we will never find happiness if we do not stop engrossing on our misery and hopelessness.

There is no such thing as hopelessness; it is merely the lack of courage and perseverance to seek for hope that slows us down, that convinces us to just be content with what we have, what we are, what we’re suffering from and accept it as just part of fate.  People experiencing the lowest of lows do nothing to change their lives, they simply sail through it, convinced that they are destined to experience hunger and pain, and to change their destiny is impossible.  It is the absence of patience to seek for a silver lining that makes us succumb to ways that are contrary to what we say we are striving to achieve; like in the talk of peace. Instead of focusing on bettering diplomatic relations, nations wage wars with one another, killing innocent civilians whose lives could have been saved had the warring nations patiently settled their differences amicably. Hopelessness is our scapegoat.

Older, “wiser” people may say what I think is irrelevant, that I know nothing, that I am ignorant, and that my ideas are as petty and childish as I am young and trivial. But age is but a mere number. It is in the experiencing of life that we are educated; it is the opening of the eyes to the truth that makes us wise; it is the wanting to change the world that determines how much we really see.

And through the eyes of an “ubing,” I see nothing but hope.

 

 

Ilocos Times copyright 2008

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